10 ways to ADHD friendly your life
Adulting is hard. ADHD and domestic life aren’t quite a match made in heaven. Before a family I managed. Having a tiny space that I called my own, that I could keep hidden away from the world. No one needed to know the chaos that lie beyond most of the cupboard drawers. Then I had a family, and well frankly my home organisation went to sh*t. This isn’t because we are lazy or incapable, it is because it takes us way more energy to do simple tasks. Our brain has to think through things in a way a neurotypical brain forms habits. And any barriers to completion our brain is going to get distracted and avoid. We can joke about our messy homes but for a lot of us it also holds some inner shame on our identity, and unfortunately due to (totally ridiculous) societal expectations, how we view ourselves as a woman and mother. So I’ve gathered together the ways I have managed to make my home that little bit more ADHD friendly.
1. Every object has a home
Do you have 1000’s of piles of objects all over your house, unsure what to do with them? It is because your object needs a home. Without a home your ADHD brain gets overwhelmed and confused about what to do with the object, so it does nothing leaving it to your future brain to deal with. When we create a home for an object we know what to do with it, it takes the executive functioning out of the way. So what does having a home mean. Having a box or similar for a particular group of items and labelling the box. If you can’t find a home for an object, either create a new home or consider if you really need it in your life.
2. Flip the fridge
Now I know those cooler drawers at the bottom are for fruit or vegetables, but my ADHD brain is ‘out of sight out of mind’. I would end up throwing so much away because I had just forgotten it existed. I therefore switched my fridge around and put fresh produce on the shelves I could clearly see and long life items hidden away for when I needed them. So much less waste and so much easier to think about what I could eat.
3. No more folding
I hate folding clothes. Firstly I can’t do it very well, I can try so hard and my husband just looks at me like I’ve done it with my eyes shut. So I decided I don’t fold clothes. Everything in my wardrobe beyond underwear and sports gear is hung up. It means no more folding and no more dragging out the entire content of my wardrobe to find something crumpled at the back
4. Steam
I won’t iron. There is nothing more boring or frustrating in my mind. Plus setting up that big board that inevitably banged my shins on the way up, it isn’t going to happen. For a long time my solution was to wear clothes that don’t need ironing, however I realised there were a number of outfits I loved (my denim jumpsuit) that I wasn’t wearing because it was sat crinkled in my wardrobe waiting for an iron. Enter the steamer. There is something so satisfyingly easy using the steamer that I actually find it quite pleasurable (for now) and wearing that denim jumpsuit! Win!
5. Reduce variety
My proudest achievement in life (other than birthing my two children) is my Tupperware drawer. After a lifetime of a drawer that was chaos, lost lids and would never shut I finally decided I was on ‘mission tupperware'. The way I solved it was by having only one brand of Tupperware in 3 sizes. That was all the items stacked beautifully and I was never looking for a lid that didn’t fit. And a plate divider to store the lids, genius (if I may say so myself).
6. Gummies
One of the ironic things of ADHD is our medication is so often time critical and yet we are the most likely people to forget! I have never been able to remember to take medication, supplements, vitamins…you name it, it gets forgotten. Recently I decided that I wanted to improve my nails, they are the most brittle thing around. And rather than getting tablets I bought gummies, game changer! Because I enjoy the process of eating the sweets, and I don’t have to find a glass of water to take them I remember to do it each most day’s when I walk past and see them. Added bonus because I am already doing that I generally remember to take my medication at the same time
7. Kids clothes bins
I have two toddlers and as already mentioned I hate folding or ironing. Luckily kids clothes rarely need an iron however hanging or folding those little clothes is too much for me to make it to completion. I therefore have for my boys clothes ‘bins’. One for each clothes type (tops, bottoms, vests, PJs). All I have to do is sort the clothes into their piles and then chuck them in there, the simple no barrier approach is perfect for my ADHD brain.
8. Dutch toilet calendar
So whoever in the Netherlands invented this had ADHD. I live here and one of the funny Dutch quirks is a toilet calendar. But this isn’t a calendar for your life it is a permanent calendar just of birthdays. This calendar is placed in your toilet so you are forced to look at it, and by having no other distractions on the same calendar you notice upcoming birthdays. And what is even better is, because it is only for birthdays that never change you only have to create it once (short project completion) and you are done for life.
9. Tidy up challenge
As you may already be aware from the above, domestic life wasn’t my calling. However now I have a family avoiding tidying up becomes an impossibility. Now an ADHD brain is wired for interest, so where possible I turn tidying up into a challenge. So I set a timer per room (being specific is also really important for us) and I get to work, racing around the room trying to tidy it before the timer goes off. Dare I say it I quite enjoy the challenge
10. Change expectations
So much of my challenges are because I have held expectations for myself that weren’t realistic. Yes, in an ideal world I might tidy more often, have a few less dusty corners and have a 7 step skincare routine, but all those things do is overwhelm me that I never do them and I always feel like a failure. Something I have really practiced over the last few years is a ‘good enough’ approach to life. This isn’t defeatist, in fact it’s quite the opposite. You ask yourself what is ‘good enough’ rather than what ‘should’ I be able to do. You create a standard that you know you can maintain and then add all the novelty, visual reminders, challenge, interest you need to be able to do that. By just have 2 steps at morning and night, perhaps my skin won’t be model worthy but I also don’t constantly have evidence of what wasn’t possible. And this is how we can grow confidence in ourselves.
